Close to the Sun
by Blossomwitch
Summary: From the moment they met, they were willing to die for each other. From the moment they met, they were addicted to each other. And from the moment they met, they were forbidden to each other. YusukeXKurama. On hiatus.
1. Chapter 1

**Close to the Sun**

_The architect Daedalus built his son Icarus a pair of wings, created from nothing more than wax and twigs, to escape from the Labyrinth. He warned Icarus that if he flew too close to the sun, the wings would melt. Yet when Icarus took to the sky, the thrill of flying was so great that he forgot all the warnings. He flew as high as he could, and the sun seared and melted his wings, and he fell into the ocean._

_Sometimes, the allure of the forbidden is too strong. Sometimes its joy is so great that it cannot be contained. Sometimes you cannot do anything but take to sky and fly--even knowing that you will, inevitably, fall. _

Prologue

Yusuke was finally beginning to understand many things--things that he had not understood before. But the process of learning was painful.

He was watching Kurama. He didn't really have anything else to do. Kurama was too busy to pay much attention to him. He kept shooting Yusuke glances when he had a spare moment, but those glances were really the only moments Kurama was present. The rest of the time, it was pure Shuichi.

Shuichi, on display, performing for his mother and the gathered relatives and family friends. Family friends--Yusuke supposed that was where he was supposed to fit in. He didn't.

About half the people at the party were gathered around the piano, listening to Kurama play what was supposed to be background music, but he was too good at it. Yusuke hadn't even known Kurama could play--it shouldn't have surprised him, but in the mood he was in it hurt deeply that he hadn't known. Kurama wasn't picking the music he played--Shiori was hovering near the piano, beaming, sometimes drifting off to do some other hostess-type duty but always returning in time to suggest the next piece. The only time Kurama strayed from her suggestions was to play a quick round of "Frosty the Snowman" and "Suzy Snowflake" for the kids. There were always kids at this kind of family party, and they were always underfoot. The adults smiled at Shuichi's consideration.

Yusuke knew Kurama well enough to see the strain beginning to build behind Shuichi's polite, friendly expression. But there was nothing he could do about it--also, currently, nothing he wanted to do about it.

One of the things he was beginning to understand was how little he belonged here.

Nobody paid too much attention to him. A few people who weren't sure if he was some cousin whose name they should remember asked how he'd been doing. And Shiori's new husband, whose name he couldn't remember, made an effort to speak to him whenever he went past--with a sort of sympathetic _we're in this together, so let's just smile and get through it_ sort of air. Yusuke wondered what he knew.

The only words he exchanged with Kurama all night were when Kurama managed to make his way over as Yusuke was putting his coat on. "You're leaving?"

Yusuke shrugged. There was a lot he would have liked to say, but not with kids running past them and people everywhere you looked, not with Shiori serving tea in the next room. So he contented himself with a quiet, but cold, "There's no reason for me to be here."

He couldn't read Kurama's expression. After all these years, after everything, he ought to be able to read him like a book, and instead Kurama just became more and more enigmatic. Kurama didn't say anything, and that sealed it. Yusuke had halfway hoped for some sort of bland contradiction, a _you're always welcome here_ or similar lie. But Kurama only looked at him, with a silent sorrow that Yusuke couldn't take for very long. He shoved his balled-up fists into his pockets and brushed past Kurama on his way out.

It was cold outside; Yusuke could see his breath as he stalked down the street. He couldn't keep himself from glancing back once, and he saw Kurama's outline in the window; but even as he watched, the outline moved away, attention drawn by someone else. Yusuke broke into a run.

_How the hell did it wind up like this? How did it go so wrong? I know we did things that were stupid; maybe things that were cruel. Is this punishment? Is this how it ends?_

_Don't let that be it. Whatever this is, don't let it be the end..._


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Oh-kay... the reason for the long update time on this one is that I'm having trouble writing scenes that have already occurred in the series without boring you all to death. Also because I had to keep checking my accuracy. If this chapter is choppy, I apologize. It will get better.

_**Chapter One**_

Uneasy didn't come close to describing it.

Yusuke had played his stress level way down while Botan was watching, for one simple reason: he didn't want her to come with him to this meeting. It wasn't that he wasn't grateful to her, or didn't understand that she'd saved his butt with Gouki. But this was different. Even if he'd only spoken to Kurama for less than an minute, they'd come to an agreement. And Yusuke had a feeling if he showed up with company, Kurama wouldn't show up at all.

Which would be bad on so many levels. Because this meeting could lead to his recovering to the Forlorn Hope, or at the very least understanding a little bit more about the guy who'd stolen it; because talking about it instead of fighting about it posed a much greater chance that Yusuke wouldn't be revisiting the realm of the dead anytime soon. Because when they'd met on the street, when Yusuke had seen the depth of sadness in those eyes and remembered the fight he'd witnessed part of, he'd wanted to trust Kurama.

Because when Kurama had looked at him, he had stopped being afraid.

The unafraid bit hadn't lasted, though. Which was probably a good thing--the end of the world was at stake, after all, and this was one of the guys getting ready to make it happen. And Yusuke had been repeatedly warned that Spirit World didn't have much data on Kurama and Hiei; for all he knew, they could make Gouki look like a featherweight. And Gouki had nearly been more than he could handle.

So he should have felt terrified as he came to a stop to observe the redhead waiting outside the hospital--but what he felt was closer to apprehensive. It occurred to him to wonder if this could still be a trap--was the third monster, Hiei, hidden out of sight somewhere, ready to slice Yusuke in half as soon as he took the bait?

But no--Hiei had been hurling some pretty strong words at Kurama, with genuine fury, when Yusuke'd caught up to them in the clearing. And clearly neither of them saw Yusuke as a threat--considering how they'd barely bothered to notice him before calmly leaving to continue their argument elsewhere--so it wouldn't be worth a temporary re-alliance just to get rid of him. Kurama was acting on his own.

When it became clear Yusuke wasn't coming any closer, Kurama took a few steps towards him. "Good. You came."

"Why are we meeting here?" Yusuke asked. There was something less than reassuring about Kurama's choice of locations.

"There's something I need to show you." Kurama gestured slightly towards the entrance. Then watched without expression while Yusuke blatantly hesitated.

_Well, hell, you've come this far--might as well trust him all the way._ Yusuke walked forward with his best imitation of confidence. Kurama smiled softly--without malice, it seemed. And then he stepped in front of Yusuke and walked through the door ahead of him--presenting his back to the enemy, and preventing Yusuke from having to do the same.

Inside, Kurama remained slightly ahead of him and Yusuke followed silently, still pretending casual confidence but really wondering what exactly a demon could want to show him inside a hospital. He was shocked when a nurse waved to Kurama; even more shocked when Kurama waved back.

That shock was nothing, however, compared to when they entered one of the rooms. Kurama moved quickly to the side of a frail-looking woman lying in a hospital bed, and proceeded to focus his attention on her so completely that he never managed an actual introduction between her and the boy who'd followed him into the room. Who was now staring at them both like they'd sprouted horns. Come to think of it, given the current circumstances, that would've been a lot less surprising.

The woman grew tired quickly; Kurama took him up to the roof. Yusuke got the impression this was a frequent haunt of his--none of the hospital staff stopped him or questioned him, and a few more waved. By this point Yusuke was too stupefied to be worrying about plots or ambushes; he just followed.

When they reached the roof, neither of them spoke for a moment. Yusuke had assumed Kurama wanted to talk to him privately--there had to be some point to this meeting beyond his witnessing a little quality mother-son interaction, didn't there? Come to think of it, how the hell was it even possible that--

Kurama wasn't meeting his eye. Almost like he didn't even know where to start. Yusuke crossed his arms and stared at him hard until Kurama looked up, and then said, "So what gives? Shuichi?"

Kurama cleared his throat. "Shuichi is the name I've taken in my human form..."

* * *

_Yusuke... please.._

Yusuke could hear a voice floating somewhere nearby. It might have been his mother's, or Keiko's. Worried.

He felt... alive? Weird. _Yusuke, please..._ The voice was tearful; why? Was it Kurama speaking? No, the voice was definitely a woman's. But wasn't that what Kurama had been saying to him anyway? Please... help... no, not to help. Kurama had already made up his mind; he just wanted a witness. But Yusuke wasn't the witnessing type.

"Yusuke, please..." Botan. That's whose voice is was. Yusuke opened his eyes and decided that he was, in fact, alive.

He had his hands too full for a moment reassuring Botan, and then celebrating with her--the Forlorn Hope clutched triumphantly in his hands--to stop to wonder what had happened to Kurama. Until the door to the stairs banged open and they both looked over to see Kurama standing there, staring at him with a disbelieving expression. "You're alive," he said.

"So are you," Yusuke replied, mentally kicking himself for not having checked on that fact earlier. "Hey--how's your mom?"

Kurama was still looking dumbfounded, like his brain hadn't caught up with events yet. "They said she'll make a complete recovery."

Yusuke couldn't help the big, shit-eating grin he felt taking over his face. "Pretty sweet deal, huh? The mirror dude said something about us being noble and crap so he didn't take any life in return for the wish. I can't believe it worked."

Kurama stared at him blankly for another moment. And then moved--so suddenly that Yusuke backed up a bit on instinct, because Kurama was headed for him like an arrow with an expression Yusuke couldn't really--

He was halfway tensed for a strike, but what he got was a hug. The tightest, hardest, most breathless hug he'd ever been in, and he realized that Kurama's entire body was shaking. "Hey..." Uncomfortable and completely out of his depth, Yusuke awkwardly patted Kurama's back. He'd never really gotten the hang of this physical reassurance thing. "Hey--it's okay..."

The shaking felt like it was starting to resolve into tears. "I don't--"

"No," Yusuke cut him off quickly, knowing a long and rambling statement about how he didn't understand Yusuke but was grateful to him anyway was about to start. "You don't have to thank me. It all worked out okay, right? So it's cool."

Kurama let go of him and looked at him speculatively. It looked like he was going to beat the tears. "You had no reason to do what you did."

Yusuke shrugged awkwardly. Truthfully, it really didn't make much sense--but he hadn't been able to do anything else. Something about Kurama had gotten under his skin, and seeing him about to die like that--"Must have had one reason, at least," he said, as casually as he could manage.

Kurama still looked like he was trying to figure it all out--and Yusuke wasn't sure he wanted him to--so he made another feeble attempt to brush it all aside. "Anyway, why does it matter? Everything worked out in the end, so we're good."

Botan cleared her throat softly. Yusuke glanced at her, annoyed--he'd forgotten she was there. She looked back and forth between Yusuke and Kurama meaningfully. Yusuke stared back at her blankly, uncomprehending. Botan made even more expansive, blatant expressions, obviously expecting him to clue into something. "Yusuke..."

It took Yusuke a few more minutes before it hit him. "Aw, c'mon, Botan, you can't be serious!" he exploded. "I don't have to--look, he's not--you've got to be kidding me!"

"Actually, I did say I would turn myself in to you at this point," Kurama said calmly, apparently having figured out what Botan wanted a lot faster than Yusuke had.

Yusuke crossed his arms stubbornly over his chest. "Well, I'm not arresting you. I didn't go through all this crap so you could never see your mom again, either."

"Yusuke!" Botan hissed, elbowing him. "Do your job! He's one of the criminals that broke into the vault--"

"And he had a really, really good reason." Yusuke leveled a glare at Botan. "Kurama could have killed me a hundred times today. I'm not going to arrest him."

There was silence for a moment. Kurama didn't seem to be trying to sway the verdict one way or another; he only watched, expression unreadable, while Yusuke glared and Botan fidgeted. At last Botan sighed and said, "Well... Koenma has made exceptions in the past for demons who've aided humans. I'm sure we could make a case here."

"Good. Then we're done here, right?" Yusuke had a sudden desire to get out of there before Botan could change her mind--or Koenma could pop out of the sky and change it for her.

Botan nodded. "Right."

Yusuke turned to Kurama awkwardly, not sure what to say--_see you around_ probably wouldn't be accurate, maybe just _good luck?_ But while Yusuke was trying to figure it out, Kurama spoke suddenly. "You're going to fight Hiei now, aren't you?"

There was an awkward pause. Yusuke wasn't sure how to read Kurama's voice, or expression--whether he wanted Yusuke to fight Hiei, or didn't. "Yeah," he said cautiously. "I mean, he's got the sword. I have to."

Kurama was quiet for a moment, looking deep in thought. The expression was so patent that both Yusuke and Botan simply watched quietly, waiting. At last Kurama spoke again, softly and without looking up. "Hiei is nothing like Gouki. He is intelligent, skillful, and extremely fast. He is also arrogant and relatively easy to provoke. The Sword he carries is affecting him, muddling his mind and making him rely more on emotion as his addiction to it grows. He can't control it. His disdain for humans will be your biggest advantage--that, and that he doesn't understand people like you."

Yusuke wasn't sure he knew what that last sentence meant, but it didn't matter. Kurama had just given him a crib sheet for his next fight. "Hey--thanks," he said, sincerely meaning it. "You--didn't have to do that."

Kurama looked at him with solemn eyes. "I can't do more. I'm sorry."

This time, Yusuke understood immediately what Kurama meant. The long silence had been Kurama's measuring where he stood in this continuum that had formed--how far he wanted to betray Hiei, how far he wanted to trust Yusuke. Yusuke and Hiei's roles were clearly defined, adversaries on opposite sides of the scale, but Kurama's role was somewhere in between. And just exactly where in between was a mystery. The only thing Yusuke knew for sure was that Kurama really_hadn't_ needed to do that, he had chosen to. "I get it. Thanks."

Kurama nodded. Yusuke hopped on the back of Botan's oar, where she had been hovering impatiently for a moment. "Stay out of trouble, alright?" _Damn--that was a really lame thing to say._

Kurama smiled slightly. "As much as you will."

"Hey, that's not f--" But that was as far as Yusuke got before Botan, anxious to get the Forlorn Hope back to Spirit World, took off and Yusuke was forced to cling to her shoulders to keep from falling. He didn't even get a last look back. _Ah, well--probably never see him again anyway. But still... what a surprise._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Two

_"I thought you weren't going to interfere anymore."_

_"Changed my mind."_

That was all Kurama'd said about it. Wouldn't take Yusuke's stammered thanks anymore than Yusuke'd taken his the day before, wouldn't explain himself, wouldn't let Yusuke take him to the hospital. _My biology isn't exactly human_, was all he'd said to that idea.

But he had let Yusuke walk with him to make sure he got home alright. Which was how Yusuke, seething with resentment at Koenma, knew how to find him a week later. Not even a whole week, at that. Was the job always going to be like this? Bang, you're back from the dead, bang, you've got this impossible mission--oh, you survived it? Great--have another!

He really _hadn't_ agreed to all this.

He was going to see Kurama with the vague hope that Kurama could tell him something about this Genkai woman, because Botan hadn't given him much to go on before she'd vanished. He also wanted to know if the hole in Kurama's stomach had closed up. Kurama had assured him demons healed quickly, but Yusuke was doubtful. That sword had gone straight through him, after all. And then he'd walked home, as casual as anything.

He'd even resisted Yusuke coming with him. Yusuke had to squirm a little, remembering that conversation. "_You don't need to escort me home. I know you're worried about your girlfriend."_

_"She's not my girlfriend!"_

_A mildly perplexed look; a carefully casual tone. "Oh... I simply assumed she was because Hiei acted like she was. And Hiei's a telepath."_

Which had put Yusuke into a world of confusion. Did that mean Hiei was reading their minds? Whose mind--his, or hers? Did she think he was her boyfriend? Did _he_ feel that way and just not realize it yet? He did care about her... but he wasn't positive that she had what he wanted. And he didn't mean just that she made him feel dumb without even trying to. It was just that... well, as much as it might not mesh with his "image," Yusuke wasn't one hundred percent sure that he wanted a girl, period. Sure, he groped Keiko all the time, and it was fun. But there had been times that he'd had kind of weird reactions to other guys... reactions he'd tried to ignore, but lately they were getting a lot harder to.

Which probably also had something to do with him going to see Kurama.

Now,_there_ was a thought Yusuke should not be pursuing. At all. He still didn't know this guy--well, he had an idea of what he was like, but he'd only met him a few times, and there was the matter of him being a demon thief... a really good-looking demon thief...

Yusuke had no idea why he was truthfully going there by the time he got to Kurama's house. He rang the doorbell anyway, and took the time before the door was opened to marvel at what a nice neighborhood Kurama lived in. Not the kind of place you'd expect a demonic felon to be hanging around in. He was just starting to wonder what Kurama's mom did for a living when the door opened. Kurama looked surprised to see him--but then a smile flitted across his face, the kind that made you smile back without thinking. 'Yusuke."

"Hey. Looks like you survived."

"I told you not to worry. There's not even a scar."

"No kidding." Kurama shook his head, then gave him a politely expectant look. "So, um, I came to ask you a favor..."

Kurama's whole expression changed. The smile fell away, and his eyes became guarded. "Ask."

"Do you know anything about a human psychic called Genkai?"

Kurama studied him for a brief moment before seeming to relax. Yusuke wondered what had gone through his head when Yusuke'd said the word_favor_. "A certain amount, yes."

"Mind sharing it?"

"You're going to enter that contest?" Yusuke nodded, not bothering to wonder how Kurama knew about Genkai's tournament. Kurama nodded thoughtfully. "Koenma always has kept his detectives busy."

"Do you mean--does he have a lot of guys like me?"

"No, only one at a time. I imagine he hasn't told you anything about the others." Kurama glanced at a clock on the wall behind him, then back at Yusuke. "Do you want to go out to eat?"

"Huh?"

"It's a bit early for dinner. But I can tell you've got a lot of questions that Koenma hasn't answered yet, and I might be able to answer some of them for you. We could walk uptown and get something to eat while we talk."

"Oh... Yeah, that'd be cool." Which was the most enthusiastic thing he dared say; what he thought was, _that would be fantastic._

"Let me go tell my mother where I'm going. I'll be right back."

Yusuke waited for only a short period of time before Kurama was back, with a light jacket and a key to lock the door behind him. "How is your mom doing, anyway?" Yusuke asked as they started down the sidewalk.

"The hospital couldn't come up with a reason to keep her there anymore. She says she hasn't felt this good in years." Kurama glanced at him sideways. "Yusuke, I can't..."

"Can't what?" Yusuke prompted, when Kurama trailed off.

"Begin to figure out how to thank you," Kurama finished quietly.

"Hey, you already did," Yusuke objected. "Don't tell me every time I see you it's going to start with a thank you? It'd get old really fast. Besides, you paid me back," Yusuke added, with a finality to his tone that he hoped very much would lay the topic to rest. It wasn't just that he was uncomfortable with Kurama's gratitude--which he was, since no one had really ever been grateful to him before if you didn't count the mom of that kid he got run over for--it was that gratitude would put a distance between himself and Kurama that he didn't want. This was turning into one hell of an after-school job, and he was going to need a friend. Not someone who felt indebted to him.

Kurama studied him for a moment before smiling--almost mischievously. "At least I didn't hug you this time." Yusuke must have looked startled, because Kurama added, "You were terribly uncomfortable."

"Oh." Yusuke shrugged awkwardly. "Guess I'm not really used to hugs."

"I gathered that. So I have a once a day limit on thank-yous, then?"

His tone said he was teasing, so Yusuke punched his arm. "Once a lifetime. So you're way over your limit already. Let's talk about something else."

"What did you want to know about Genkai?"

* * *

Kurama stopped saying _thank you_, but he didn't stop thinking it. He couldn't. He was still in shock. He couldn't understand the person walking next to him--how impulsively he had acted, willing to trade his own life for a story and the genuine sorrow of a stranger. Maybe he could have understood, in time, if Yusuke were willing to explain--if Yusuke even considered it worth explaining. But Yusuke brushed it off, first casually and then uncomfortably, and insisted they talk about something else. Anything else.

He had plenty of replacement topics in mind, too, and for the first few hours Kurama was kept busy answering questions. It was no surprise to him that Yusuke was new at this job--everything about him screamed that he didn't know a thing about demons, demon world, spirit world, or how they were all connected. But he was taken aback to discover how far Yusuke's ignorance went. Koenma and that ferry girl who shadowed him had not given him much to work with. That made Kurama wonder what Yusuke would be like in a few years, considering how he'd been able to face down Gouki and even Hiei on his very first case.

If, of course, he survived to grow stronger. Koenma was setting a rigorous pace for his new detective. Kurama felt a seed of anger stir and ripen inside him when he thought of Yusuke being killed at this job just because Koenma hadn't kept him better informed, or bothered to get him trained properly.

Which was why Kurama answered every one of Yusuke's questions, point-blank and without any sugar coating. When Yusuke said that the ferry girl had informed him there would be a human-hunting demon at Genkai's competition, Kurama thought carefully for a moment about who was still alive and who was in human world before giving Yusuke a rundown on the three demons he thought it might be. A much more thorough and detailed rundown, furthermore, than the brief sketch he'd given concerning Hiei. Hiei had been Kurama's ally in many ventures and even a friend at times, and Kurama hadn't wanted to get him killed.

But... if either he or Yusuke had had to die...

_What is it about this boy? That I would choose him after only meeting him once--and I could have easily died myself for that action. Just the way he could have, when he impulsively chose me._

Kurama put that away for thought later. He should focus more on the answers he was giving Yusuke, the preparation for the tournament. This fight, at least, he had no hesitations about; Yusuke would be the victor. Period. _And_, Kurama realized suddenly, _when he does win, he'll be trained by Genkai. Maybe Koenma is taking better care of him than I thought._

After awhile, Yusuke's questions moved from the Genkai situation to demons in general; by the time afternoon had worn into evening and they were ordering themselves dessert as an excuse not to leave the restaurant, the questions were about Kurama. Mostly Yusuke asked about his life here in human world, for which Kurama was intensely grateful; he didn't want to lie, but he didn't want to talk about Youko either. Yusuke seemed extraordinarily accepting of people as he found them, but Kurama still wanted his good opinion too badly to be willing to talk about his former life. He was aware that it was ridiculous--to be so utterly focused on a fourteen year old human. To be weighing his every word, watching his every expression, absorbed in the process of finding out as much as he could.

Yusuke told him he'd been raised by his mother, whom he casually called a lush but Kurama could tell it was a more serious problem than that. No father was in the picture. He hated school and only went on occasion because the girl--Keiko, whom he continued to insist was a childhood friend and not a love interest--nagged him to go. Kurama could tell instantly that she was the only person who had ever attempted to make Yusuke behave himself, and that he simultaneously loved and loathed her for it. He'd been killed in a car crash and been brought back to life, which accounted for how he'd gotten involved with Koenma. He said the only thing he knew how to do was fight, and Kurama just barely caught himself from contradicting him. Yusuke was not comfortable with praise.

Still... it was interesting to slip praise in every so often, and smile, and then watch him blush.

It started out--the subtle comments and the smiles--as nothing more than provoking an interesting reaction. But before long Kurama had to admit to himself that he was flirting. He could maybe justify insisting on picking up the tab for dinner, seeing as how he didn't imagine Yusuke had much spare cash, but the smiles--he could feel himself smiling with his eyes as much as his mouth, and he was staring at Yusuke, and glancing away when Yusuke looked back--it was wrong of him, to let his own interest show so blatantly.

But could he help it if he was fascinated? He couldn't even put what he was feeling into words. It wasn't all sexual; that was only a small part of it. There was just something about--the way he stood. The way he talked, tough but honest. The way his eyes looked. The way he, too, was so obviously reluctant to part ways--they left the restaurant and walked in circles for half an hour before deciding coffee was necessary, and demon world and Genkai were long, long forgotten. They were just talking.

Kurama could tell Yusuke was starting to get hooked--simultaneously baffled, but mesmerized, by Kurama's subtle messages. He told himself to stop while he still could. He might have even managed it--if Yusuke hadn't started to flirt back.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I remember the days when working on fanfiction did not automatically mean I was neglecting something else. I miss those days...

Chapter 3

_This is not happening._

_Repeat: this is not happening._

_Hell with it. Yes, it is._

They were currently engaged in a decidedly awkward silence; they had been hitting them steadily for the last half-hour or so. _How many hours have we been hanging out now? _Seven, maybe, or eight or nine; it was pitch-black outside, had been so for some time. It was blatant that neither of them wanted to go home.

Yusuke had no idea what he was doing. He also had no idea what Kurama had been expecting, but it wasn't whatever Yusuke was doing. Because Kurama had lost some of his confidence and kept giving Yusuke surprised, contemplative looks--and silence. What _had_ he been expecting? That Yusuke wouldn't notice Kurama was flirting with him? That Yusuke would be offended and demand that he stop? Usually when you were flirting with someone, didn't you _want_ them to follow your lead?

And following Kurama's lead was something Yusuke was starting to get sick of. At first he'd had butterflies--beyond butterflies, at first he couldn't barely believe his own audacity, that he _was_ okay with this, that he was capable of giving a seemingly casual look that would cause Kurama to flush and look away. And then it was like he was high on something and he got caught up in the challenge, plunging headfirst into it, determined to see what came next.

But nothing came next. Kurama had abruptly ceased leading them anywhere at all and they were going in circles, stuck in limbo. And Yusuke wasn't very good at being in limbo.

_Well, if you can't make it better, make it worse._ Yusuke leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms behind his head, the classic pose of confident relaxation. "So--I have a question."

"Ask."

"How many of these dumb silences are we going to have to sit through before one of us actually says what he's thinking?"

Kurama looked startled--but only for a moment, and then he smiled, that smile that Yusuke was steadily growing addicted to. "Well, apparently that was the last one."

"Why do you keep looking so surprised?" Kurama gave him an inquiring look. "What, you thought you were the only one who could--do this?" he finished awkwardly. He had been about to say _flirt_ but stopped at the last second, not completely sure of himself.

Kurama's smile widened in amusement at Yusuke's quick correction. "To be honest, I really didn't expect this kind of response."

Yusuke let the front two legs of his chair bang down to the ground again, leaning forward over his knees. "Then why would you bother doing it?"

Kurama seemed to think about this for a minute before replying. "I suppose," he finally said, speaking slowly, "that I couldn't help myself."

And then he leaned forward. And when Yusuke didn't pull back he found himself in the first genuine, non-life-saving kiss of his life.

It was agonizingly brief, and then Kurama pulled back, watching Yusuke intently for a reaction. His own expression was almost invulnerable--almost. Yusuke could see a hint of hope, a hint of apprehension, hiding in his eyes.

Yusuke would have liked to linger in the feeling the kiss had given him, but he wasn't about to let that hint of apprehension grow. And anyway, "frozen in shock" just wasn't his style. He leaned forward and kissed Kurama back.

* * *

They almost didn't make it back to Yusuke's apartment. They started to walk there civilly enough, but they both kept gradually quickening the pace; then their hands started to wander, even though they were still walking, reaching for the other's hand, shoulder, back, waist. By the time they actually got to Yusuke's place they were halfway running and laughing at each other the whole time. Yusuke had never been so glad to close a door in his life.

Then, after barely making it to the apartment, they barely made it to the couch. Kurama seemed to have lost whatever hesitations he'd had before, and Yusuke was rapidly losing control to sensations and urges he hadn't known could be so intense. They stumbled, clung to each other, tripped, and finally landed heavily, with Kurama on top of Yusuke. They had trouble establishing a rhythm at first, matching their movements, because Yusuke wanted to be in charge but he didn't know what to do. He never liked to be out of control, and Kurama was fast pushing him there whether he wanted it or not. But then it was like a switch suddenly turned inside him, like some internal voice suddenly said _hell with it, I don't care._ He took a shaky breath and stopped trying to control it.

It was the best decision he'd ever made in his life. Because Kurama knew exactly what to do. Kurama... stronger than he looked, Yusuke could sense how strong he was, but for once he didn't feel the need to make a challenge in response. Kurama moved over him, finding ways to fit their bodies together; his lips against Yusuke's lips, or his neck, or his chest. Lips, tongue, sometimes teeth--never enough to hurt, just enough to tease. Hinting at a pleasure that was out of reach. "Harder," Yusuke growled, surprised at the roughness of his own voice.

Kurama seemed to hesitate again, just a fraction of a second, before obliging him; but when he did Yusuke forgot completely about the hesitation, or anything that wasn't this moment, right now. Anything that wasn't these movements that felt strange, yet his body already seemed to know how to do; anything that wasn't those hands, _god, those hands_, gentle and long-fingered and _oh _so incredibly gifted, making his skin flush and blood race; anything that wasn't their mouths crushed together, or legs quarrelling for space, or Kurama's hair trailing over his face and momentarily blinding him with red. There was nothing else.

And yet, it had to end. Yusuke knew that almost the second it began, but Kurama showed no signs of being the one to end it. It was well over an hour after they'd stumbled onto the couch before Yusuke finally tore his mouth away from Kurama long enough to try gasping words. "I..."

Kurama raised his head to look at him--he had been kissing Yusuke's stomach, bare inches from his jeans, which were all that remained of his clothing. Kurama's eyes glittered darkly, almost black instead of green. "Yes?"

"I haven't--done anything like this before," he panted."

"I know that." Kurama's expression and voice were neutral, but gave the slight hint that he didn't see why Yusuke'd felt now was the moment to bring it up.

Yusuke gestured awkwardly to their position on the couch. "I can't--I mean--"

Kurama's forehead wrinkled slightly in confusion. "You can't...oh!" For a moment he looked like he was actually going to laugh, in relief at understanding. "No. No, definitely not." He moved up just far enough to kiss Yusuke's lips lightly. "I had never intended it to get that far."

"That so?" Yusuke asked, glancing around at the clothes scattered on the floor and then the scratch marks on his own skin--Kurama didn't always choose to be gentle.

"It is." Kurama kissed him lightly again. "I wouldn't do that to you--not your first time, not with someone you barely know. This is what I wanted."

It was bizarre, but Yusuke felt a vague stab of disappointment. He had been all prepared to tell Kurama no, but finding out that Kurama had never had any intentions of taking it that far made him feel somehow bereft. He was glad when Kurama kissed him again, this time deeper, and his hair fell around them again so he could see nothing, feel nothing but this.

Nevertheless, the mood had changed. Their movement were slower, lacked the earlier frenzy. It wasn't much longer before Kurama pulled away with a sigh to glance at the clock on the wall. "I should get home. It's after midnight."

"D'you have to?" Yusuke mumbled, not ready for it to end.

Kurama's smile was affectionate, but rueful. "I think I should."

"You know you could crash here tonight if you want to."

"My mother would worry."

Even having known him for such a short period of time, Yusuke knew that that was the end of it. "Well--let me walk you home, at least."

"That's kind of you, Yusuke, seeing as how you know how completely defenseless I would be if I was attacked on my way home, all alone in the middle of the night."

"Shut up." Yusuke gave Kurama a light shove, dislodging him from the somewhat permanent position he had taken up in Yusuke's lap. "And give me my shirt back."

Kurama supplied the required garment without comment, but with another one of those rueful smiles. They dressed quietly, Kurama choosing not to give him any more flack. On the walk home they didn't speak much--there was some casual small talk, but mostly they just walked in a companionable silence. Yusuke, for his part, was savoring every second of it. He wasn't sure why, but he had a feeling in his gut too strong to be ignored, and that feeling said that this wasn't going to happen again.

When they got within sight of Kurama's house, Yusuke started awkwardly, "Well, thanks for all the info, Kurama, and--uh--"

As much as Yusuke hated looking like an idiot, he had to admit he was getting hooked on that fond smile of Kurama's that meant he was looking like an idiot. "I wish you luck at the tournament," Kurama replied simply.

_Yeah--got a feeling I'm gonna need it._ They stopped in front of Kurama's house, and Yusuke, not really sure where they stood, asked bluntly, "Can I kiss you goodnight?"

He was surprised to see a look of mild alarm cross Kurama's face. Quickly, almost reflexively, he glanced over his shoulder at the house, then back at Yusuke. "Not here," he said, and gestured toward the side of the house.

Bewildered, Yusuke followed him to a small, shadowed space between Kurama's house and the neighbors that the streetlights didn't reach. Once there, Kurama turned to him and kissed him, slowly and gently.

Yusuke relished the kiss, but still spoke the second it ended. "Why'd we move over here?"

"I don't want to risk someone seeing us."

"...You're ashamed of being gay?" Yusuke blurted out, too surprised to phrase it better.

"My mother doesn't approve," Kurama replied calmly. "It would hurt her to know about my preferences, so she won't. I can't ever risk being seen with another male."

"That's... harsh."

"It's my choice." Kurama shrugged. "It won't be that long, for me, to wait."

"So--this is just tonight, then." Kurama didn't answer. Yusuke found himself filling the silence. "I mean--that's probably good. Not that it wasn't really great, but--it doesn't--you know."

Kurama nodded. "Doesn't fit your image, you mean."

"Not... really."

"I understand completely."

It didn't feel bitter--it felt companionable. Yusuke was actually a little relieved. _Now I don't have to think about what it means._ "Well--guess it's good night, then." And he leaned forward to kiss Kurama one last time, just because he knew it _was_ the last time, now, and he couldn't resist getting one more taste.

When they broke apart he turned to leave, but Kurama snagged his wrist. "Hang on." He was searching his pockets for something. He came up with a pen, and then held Yusuke's hand steady while he wrote a number on the back of it. "Call me when the competition's over and let me know you're alive, will you?"

"Sure," Yusuke said, relieved at the indication that they would be friends. "If I am alive."

"Don't joke about that."

"Hey, if a guy who's been dead can't joke about dying, who can?"

"There's such a thing as tempting fate. I don't advise it." And with that, Kurama walked out of the shadowed space and climbed the steps to his front door, turning to wave once to Yusuke before closing it behind him.

"Hypocrite," Yusuke muttered under his breath as he walked away. From what he'd observed and been told of Kurama's life so far, temping fate seemed to be his favorite occupation... and, in a way, was what the two of them had just done.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I had another scene I was going to put with this one, and was nearly done writing it before I realized it belongs in the next chapter. The result is that this chapter is painfully short, but (hopefully) you won't have to wait so long for the next update.

Chapter Four

"Hey! Wait a minute!"

Kurama heard him the second time he shouted; he looked over his shoulder, then stopped where he was and waited for Yusuke to catch up to him. "Yes?" he asked simply.

Yusuke had just vaulted out of Kuwabara's bed, brushed past Keiko and Botan, and pounded down the stairs, out the door, and onto the street only to realize-- "I don't remember what I was going to say."

It was just that Kurama had left so quickly. After he and Kuwabara had pulled their little stunt pretending the girls were hurt--which Yusuke still had some necks to wring for--Kurama had offered his standard excuse of needing to get back to his mother, really shouldn't have stayed so long, just wanted to make sure Yusuke was alright. It was easy for him to slip out--the others all knew each other, he was the outsider in the group and he had been down to the street before Yusuke realized it.

But when he _had_ realized Kurama was gone, Yusuke had been seized with a sudden desire to speak to him--so sudden that he had jumped out of bed, announced to the room in general that he would be right back, and set out in pursuit. And now here he was, alone with Kurama and able to speak his mind for the first time since he and Hiei had shown up as little blazing balls of light, and he couldn't quite remember what it was that had propelled him down onto the street.

Kurama was still watching him expectantly. "So--you and Hiei," Yusuke asked awkwardly, sticking his hands in his pockets and casting about for the first question he could find. "How'd he wind up not pissed at you?"

Kurama only smiled a very enigmatic smile. "If I were to explain that, Yusuke, I would have to explain a great, great deal about demon politics. But to put it in the simplest of terms, it benefits Hiei more to continue to work with me than to do otherwise. Also, we get along," he added as an afterthought.

"That's it?"

"That's all there needs to be." Kurama looked at him curiously. "Why do you ask? You trust Hiei, you're not asking me to vouch for him. And you didn't seem to find it odd when we showed up together."

"Yeah, well, I was thinking of other crap then."

Kurama studied him for a moment. "Yusuke--I hope it doesn't bother you that I'm here."

Yusuke looked at him in astonishment. "Bother me?"

Kurama shrugged slightly. "Our past relationship--you seemed distracted, at times. Is it a problem?"

"No!" Yusuke blurted, indignant, only afterwards stopping to think about it. He hadn't much contact with Kurama since--well--_that night._ He had called him once from Grandma's boot camp, letting him know he was alive like Kurama had asked, but nothing since then. He hadn't had much time for anything but getting his ass kicked, and he would have felt weird calling again, anyway.

Of course, he'd thought about that night... a lot... yeah, maybe it had been a bit of a shock to suddenly see Kurama again. But a distraction? "No," Yusuke declared again, more calmly.

Kurama regarded him skeptically; his next words, while technically accepting, made it clear he did not believe Yusuke. "Well, if it ever _were_ to become a problem... You can't afford to be distracted. So if it's necessary, I'll tell Koenma that I can't work with you. But," he added, as Yusuke opened his mouth to protest, "if it's not necessary, then I do want to keep working together."

"Is that so? 'Cause it sounds like you're trying to talk me out of it."

"I'm only trying to assess the situation," Kurama replied calmly, not responding to Yusuke's irritation. "Something I wish you would do. I already know that I'm still attracted to you, and it's possible you could distract me in a critical moment, but I believe I can handle it and I'm willing to take that risk. After watching your performance with Keiko in danger, I'm worried about your powers of concentration."

"Thanks."

"And I have to make sure you've thought it through. I know it's possible I'm making something out of nothing, and that I don't pose any distraction to you. It's hardly comparable to the situation with Keiko, because of how much you love her."

Yusuke felt ready to tear his hair out. Why was everyone so goddamn convinced that... "I don't love Keiko."

Kurama's expression was one of patent disbelief. He spoke patiently. "Yusuke--after all that, do you really expect me to believe you're not in love with her? After what Suzaku did? After what _you_ did?"

"I'm not in love with her," Yusuke said stubbornly. "I mean--maybe I love her, I don't know, she's my friend. But I'm not _in_ love."

Kurama regarded him compassionately. "Well, you're still a little young to be in love, Yusuke. Give it a few years.

There was silence for a moment. Kurama had suddenly spoken to him as an adult speaks to a child, and he did not like it. But it had the effect of reminding him, inexorably, how much older than him Kurama was. He didn't like it at all. "Don't pretend you know me."

Kurama shrugged lightly. "I didn't mean to offend."

His very complaisance angered Yusuke. He wanted to provoke a reaction, prove the whole issue mattered to Kurama. "Well, who's to say it couldn't happen again?" Kurama looked up, startled--that had done the trick. "You and me. Don't act like Keiko and I are married or something."

"I didn't say you were. But--"

"But nothing. We're not together. And you and I--"

Yusuke found words suddenly failing him. To say anything more would be to admit that, yes, Kurama's presence had been distracting. Really distracting. And that might make Kurama leave--not to mention, it would give him the upper hand in this little argument.

Kurama broke the long silence. "However you choose to label the relationship," he said gently, "you care for Keiko a great deal. And I care for my mother, who would never tolerate your presence in my life. And even if neither of those things were true and we were free to pursue each other, you would still be a human teenager and I would still be a demon older than you can conceive of. The most we can ever be is friends."

Yusuke shrugged, acting nonchalant, like Kurama's blunt assessment hadn't stung. "Then let's be friends."

"If it's going to be a problem that--"

"Really, Kurama, you're a great guy and all, but you're overestimating yourself," Yusuke said coolly, turning away. "You're not a distraction."

"I'm glad to hear it." His hesitation before saying that was so slight as to make Yusuke wonder if it had really been there, or if he was imagining things. "We'll keep the team as it is, then?"

"Yeah, fine. So I guess I'll see you around." Yusuke started walking back, without turning to look at him.

"Yes. See you around." Kurama's reply was still calm, still pleasant, despite all Yusuke's rudeness. Yusuke sulked all the way back to Kuwabara's.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: See, I told you it wouldn't be long to wait. Actually, I think this may the fastest I've ever updated a multi-chapter fic. And it's a long chapter, too. With hotness. What more could you ask for?_

Chapter Five

"There are only so many times I can bend the rules for you, Yusuke. And your attitude is making..."

Yusuke only surfaced for a minute or two--just long enough to be sure that the old man was still berating him--before returning to wondering how the hell he had gotten caught. He was thinking about using the spirit gun to create a distraction and make a run for it. How long could Takanaka talk, anyway?

"...trying to get through to you, and I'll say it as many times as I have to before..."

Apparently, a while longer. This was so unfair. Yusuke had only just gotten back from Maze Castle a few days ago--Takanaka should be glad that he had shown up for school at all, not punishing him by putting him in detention when he should be out breathing the free air. This was a perfect example of why it was better not to go at all...

There was a sharp knock on the door. Takanaka stopped mid-sentence and Yusuke jerked out of his stupor; before Takanaka could call for whomever it was to enter or go away, the door opened.

And Yusuke slipped into the Twilight Zone.

Kurama marched into the room, resplendent in that hideous pink uniform and looking annoyed. "Yusuke, there you are. I've been waiting for you for nearly half an--oh." He interrupted himself suddenly, seeming to take in the room they were in and Takanaka's baffled presence for the first time. "Oh." The second _oh_ was much more disapproving than the first, and as he faced Yusuke Kurama seemed to swell slightly with indignation. "I see you've gotten into trouble again. Honestly, Yusuke, I thought you were serious, I thought you wanted me to tutor you. I can see I'm wasting my time." And he marched right back out of the room.

"Wait!" Takanaka called right as Kurama reached the door--Yusuke, meanwhile, was trying to get his mouth to say something along the lines of _what the fuck_, but no words would come out. "You're--tutoring Yusuke?"

Kurama turned slightly to face Takanaka, but his body was still oriented towards the door. "I was," he said dubiously, "but Yusuke agreed to stop getting into fights in exchange. Obviously he's not serious about it or he would be holding up his end of the bargain."

"You're from Meiou High?" For a moment Yusuke wondered how Takanaka'd known that, but then realized only someone who went to Meiou would subject himself to a pink uniform.

Kurama inclined his head respectfully. "Yes, sir. Shuichi Minamino."

"_The_ Shuichi Minamino?"

And that was the point where Yusuke just couldn't restrain himself anymore. Obviously Kurama was trying do--well--_something_ here, but-- "Okay, just what the hell does _the_ Shuichi Minamino mean?

Takanaka turned to him, looking like he'd just seen a herd of wild animals stampede down the hallway. He spoke as if it was absolutely essential Yusuke understand him. "Your friend has put up the highest test scores ever seen at the most exclusive high school in this city. _Ever._" Behind Takanaka's back, Kurama smiled and winked; Yusuke suddenly had to suppress an almost uncontrollable urge to burst out laughing. "I had no idea you were..." He turned back to Kurama, who was at once the picture of innocence again. "How long have you been tutoring this boy?"

"A few months," Kurama said, as if reluctant to admit it. "But with respect, sir, I don't feel that I can continue to if--"

"No--please." Yusuke's mirth was subdued at that, at the way the old man said _please_. "I would--I would consider it a favor if you would continue to tutor him."

Kurama looked doubtful for a moment, and Yusuke started to have trouble not laughing again. The fox was one hell of an actor. "Of course, sir," he finally replied reluctantly. "We'll start again next week, then; today is my only free day, and since his presence is obviously required here--"

_Aha!_ Yusuke thought. _That's what he's doing!_ "No--no, he doesn't need to stay here. Yusuke, you may go," Takanaka stammered, right on cue.

Yusuke didn't need to be told twice. He was out of the office in two seconds flat; Kurama stopped to say thank you and offer a small, respectful bow before gently shutting the door.

Once it was shut, Yusuke let loose all the laughter he'd been holding back. "Kurama, that was brilliant!" he exclaimed, clapping him on the back. "Unbelievable! You just manipulated him like--like--"

"Don't expect it to happen very often," Kurama said, but he was smiling. "I've got better things to do with my time. And you really shouldn't get into fights with ordinary humans."

"You bet. Man, I owe you one." Kurama just smiled. "So what's up?" Yusuke asked curiously. "Why'd you spring me?"

"I wondered if you'd like to spend some time training with me."

"Training with you?" Yusuke echoed with misgiving, thinking of the six months he'd spent trapped with Genkai.

"Yes. Don't worry, I won't try to make you learn strategy, it would never work. But I thought since you're going to be fighting primarily against demons from now on, you might like to train against one. Genkai is excellent, but she's human."

"And that's why you got me out of detention?"

"Would you rather go back?"

"'Course not. It's just--we can do that any time, can't we?"

"Yes. But I'd just as soon start _before_ our next mission, not after. And I don't know when our next mission will be. Make sense?"

"One more question."

"Yes?"

"How mad will you be if I beat you?"

The look Kurama gave him was incredulous. Yusuke grinned, enjoying himself thoroughly. "I try to accept my losses," Kurama finally replied evenly. But his expression said, _hell will freeze over first._

The afternoon was definitely looking up.

* * *

"I really am so--"

"Stop apologizing."

"I'm not the best person to train with, truthfully. I get carried away and forget that I'm--"

"I said, you can drop it."

"I really am--"

"Okay, that's it." Yusuke launched his best attack, for the sole purpose of clamping a hand over Kurama's mouth and stopping the string of apologies.

Since Kurama was mostly supporting Yusuke at the moment, Yusuke's best attack consisted of flailing around in an uncoordinated manner while Kurama tried to parry without dropping him. Unsurprisingly, they both ended up in a heap on the ground laughing at each other, limbs hopelessly tangled. "You really are incorrigible."

"That word had better mean something good," Yusuke threatened.

"It means you never give up."

"Is that good?"

"Sometimes. Since we're already on the ground, would you like to rest for a minute?"

"Nah."

"I'd like to."

"I said I'm fine."

"Yes, but you're heavy and I'm tired of carrying you." Kurama had succeeded in untangling himself from Yusuke and now underscored his point by moving to sit with his back against a nearby tree. They were deep in a park that Yusuke hadn't known existed, one which Kurama guaranteed him there was little to no chance of running into anybody--perfect for training and talking about things that shouldn't be overheard. "Just for a minute."

Yusuke knew full well that Kurama wasn't tired and just wanted to give Yusuke time to rest. But since his support system was currently reclining against a tree, Yusuke had little choice but to do the same. "You know what I think, Kurama? I think you cheat."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. How am I supposed to carry on a conversation with you while you're trying to punch holes in my defense? It isn't fair."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm trying to answer your questions, not block your hits!"

"But you've got to learn to do both at the same time." Yusuke had only been giving him a hard time, but Kurama suddenly looked serious. "I know I've said it before... but I really am concerned with your concentration."

"You think you could be a distraction to me," Yusuke said coolly. He was still stinging a little from hoe easily the fox had dismissed him a few days ago.

"I think almost anything could be a distraction to you. You're a very emotional fighter--you live everyone else's peril like your own, and you get very incensed at what your enemy says and does, which allows them to manipulate you. Distracting you is the tactic Suzaku used and the only reason it backfired on him is that he didn't realize how _much_ of an emotional fighter you are. You get into fights because you care about things."

Yusuke was perplexed. "Well--yeah--that's the only reason to fight."

Kurama shook his head. "Oh, no. Some people fight just for the adrenaline rush. Sometimes two people fight just to figure out which one is stronger."

"I do both those things," Yusuke objected.

"Yes, but they're not your _real_ reason for fighting. And it's crucial that you understand that not every fighter is like you. You can see that just in our team."

"Huh?"

Even sitting on the ground and leaning against a tree trunk, Kurama gave off the air of a college professor discoursing. "Well, none of us fight the same way. Kuwabara cares about people, but that's not why he fights--he fights because he believes that things should be a certain way and people should act a certain way. He'll die because of that belief if he has to. And Hiei's different from both of you, in that he never learned _not_ to fight. He doesn't know any other language than the language of force, and he doesn't respect anyone who doesn't speak it."

"And you?" Yusuke prompted, after a moment in which it became clear that Kurama was not going to continue.

Kurama shrugged. For a moment it looked like he was debating whether to answer at all. "In the past, I would get bored if I wasn't in the thick of things, and that meant fighting. Now, I have someone to protect. I don't really know how to define my style anymore. At the present moment, however, one could say I'm fighting because I don't want you to get killed."

"You know," Yusuke said with the beginnings of a snarl, "you're not really encouraging to have around. And I'm not as distractable as you think."

"Of course not. Oh, hello, Keiko!"

Kurama waved cheerfully to someone over Yusuke's shoulder. Even as he spun around to look Yusuke knew he'd been had, but he couldn't stop the movement. Kurama looked intolerably smug when Yusuke turned back to him. "Jerk. I wasn't ready for that one."

"Mm-hm. And the enemy is always going to announce, 'Yusuke, I'm going to distract you now. Are you ready?'"

Yusuke was starting to wonder if there was any such thing as winning against the fox. Not in conversation, that was for sure--Kurama was way too smart and kept turning him in circles. Time to move the playing field back to somewhere Yusuke had a chance. "Prove it."

"Prove what?"

Yusuke stood, feeling much steadier on his feet than he had earlier. Maybe he really had needed to rest. "Prove that I'm distractable."

"I already did."

"Well, do it again. C'mon, I dare you. I bet you you can't make me move."

Kurama seemed dubious, but he shrugged. "If you insist," he said, rising to his feet."

"Yeah." Yusuke spread his feet slightly, digging them into the ground. Getting ready to make a stand. "I do."

Kurama did nothing for a moment--just stood there with his hands clasped behind his back, studying Yusuke. Yusuke faced him back grimly. Eventually Kurama walked towards him, slowly and without any sign of aggression. He stopped about a foot in front of Yusuke, still looking at him appraisingly. Then, he leaned forward.

Their lips did not touch. It was a near miss--they were within a breath of kissing when Yusuke leaned back, so quickly and so far that he stumbled. Kurama immediately retreated, with a small smile on his face. "You moved."

"That--was not fair."

"I won."

"No. No, 'cause--that--"

"You're very distractable, Yusuke." Kurama's voice, instead of gloating, seemed a little sad, and he had crossed his arms in front of him. "You should work on that."

Yusuke squared his feet again. "Gimme another chance."

"That would make it your third chance--"

"Well, then make it the third chance! C'mon, Kurama. That's not going to work again. I'm not distractable."

"No," Kurama sighed, "you're incorrigible."

He went back to studying Yusuke; Yusuke, meanwhile, was grimly visualizing himself as a statue. He would not let that fox beat him at everything.

When Kurama moved, he moved swiftly--and then he was right there again, so close Yusuke could feel the heat of his body, lacking only a hairsbreadth's movement on either of their parts to make it a kiss. Kurama hovered there, very still, waiting for him to back away. Testing him. Yusuke didn't move.

Neither did Kurama. The moment stretched on... and on... and on... It was without doubt the most awkward situation Yusuke had ever been in in his life. His pulse was pounding, his nerves were screaming, and he wanted desperately to move just to end the tension--either to shove Kurama away as violently as he could or to grab him and kiss him, and he honestly didn't know which he wanted to do more.

Something light and ticklish brushed against Yusuke's back and shoulders. Yusuke, nerves shot from the long stalemate, jumped away from it--and the only direction that was away from it was forward. He managed to turn his head aside in time to prevent them from banging noses, but he still basically wound up jumping into Kurama's arms, and that simultaneously pissed him off and made every nerve he had tingle. He turned his head in time to see a feathery vine retreating into the ground. "You're cheating!"

"Three times, Yusuke." Kurama didn't sound smug, didn't even sound amused--his voice was flat. If Yusuke didn't know better, he would have said the fox seemed angry.

"Alright. Let's do this thing."

"Don't you think I have better things to do with my day than stand around making you jump?"

"I have to learn how to do this, right?" Yusuke met his eyes with a hard glare, hoping sternness would prevent him from betraying that a part of him really, really wanted to keep going--to find out what Kurama would do next. "Better before the next mission than after it, right?"

Kurama returned the glare, but didn't say anything as Yusuke hunkered down into his stance, facing him defiantly. As before, Kurama moved immediately into his personal space, standing directly in front of him and blocking his vision. Some sort of stupid psych game. Yusuke refused to meet his eyes, tried to think of nothing, and waited.

Kurama used the same tactic, for the third time in the row. This time, when Yusuke didn't move, Kurama kissed him. Defiantly, Yusuke kissed back. The kiss was not gentle, and it was not brief. When Kurama pulled back from it his face was dark with anger. "You were supposed to pull away from that."

"I thought that was what I was _not_ supposed to do," Yusuke shot back.

Kurama didn't answer. He had retreated out of Yusuke's reach and was now starting to circle him; Yusuke resolutely remained facing forward, refusing to get dragged into the psych-out tactics. He was angry, but his lips were also tingling--and it was everything he could do not to lash out in pursuit of Kurama and haul him back. Who the hell did the fox think he was, anyway, using the fact that he was gorgeous and brilliant and Yusuke wanted him so badly just to make Yusuke look bad--why did he think it was okay to make an attack out of what had happened between them six months ago? And he had the gall to say that Yusuke should have pulled away from it--

Kurama was behind him suddenly, in a movement so fast Yusuke couldn't even sense it--Kurama was just there, his hands grazing Yusuke's neck ever so lightly in a touch that could have been a caress, or could have been preparation for strangling him. Yusuke managed not to flinch. "Hm," Kurama said softly.

He started to withdraw--but Yusuke's hand, of its own volition, seized one of Kurama's hands in an iron grip. Then he used the grip to force Kurama to move, before Kurama could think to use it to do the opposite; he yanked, hard, and Kurama was forced to move. He managed to control it just enough to stumble to Yusuke's side instead of body-slamming him. Yusuke turned his head to the side and found Kurama glaring at him. He was close enough. Without releasing the grip on his wrist, Yusuke kissed him.

He was really surprised when Kurama didn't break the kiss--or punch him with his free hand, for that matter. The fox had looked angry enough to bite him--but they were kissing instead, both of them furious. It wasn't like kissing was supposed to be... but then, when they didn't stop, Yusuke felt the anger leeching out of him, a bit at a time. The tension slowly left their bodies, and Yusuke let go of the bruising grip on Kurama's wrist. By the time they finally had to breathe, Yusuke didn't feel like fighting any more.

"That's... really distracting," Kurama commented softly.

Yusuke turned so he was fully facing Kurama, not looking at him over his shoulder, and found his arms naturally moving to encircle Kurama's waist. "Yeah." He kissed him again, without anger this time, and found Kurama responding. It was strange how natural--how undefeatable--it all suddenly felt.

When the kiss ended Yusuke didn't let go of Kurama. "We shouldn't..." Kurama began, but it was half-hearted and he trailed off after only those two words. They stared at each other, the atmosphere one of tense anticipation, the pitched battle of a moment ago forgotten.

"Just for tonight," Yusuke found himself saying.

"That's what we said last time," Kurama reminded him doubtfully.

They lapsed back into staring at each other in silence. Yusuke thought he was starting to understand why people who claimed they were in love acted like idiots. Because there was something about Kurama--he couldn't even pinpoint what it was, but there was something about him that made Yusuke want to be with him come hell or high water, no matter what he had to do to get there or what happened after. No matter how little sense it made.

Kurama was looking at him so intently that Yusuke could believe the rest of the world had ceased to exist. "Just for tonight," he murmured again. And this time, eyes still locked with Yusuke's, Kurama slowly nodded yes.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Six

"Got it figured out yet?"

Kurama glanced up, startled out of deep thought, to find Yusuke watching him--how long had he been awake? Kurama hadn't felt him stirring, but he seemed completely alert and was watching Kurama with solemn eyes.

"Do I have what figured out?" Kurama asked.

"Well, every time I see you--or at least, every time something happens between us--you come up with a new set of rules to explain what happened and what it means. And then I woke up and saw you sitting there all contemplative, so I figured you were laying out the new laws of the universe. You think too much."

All of this was said straightforwardly and without Yusuke's eyes leaving his, but a hint of a smile was on his face. Kurama returned it. "You know me too well already."

"Does that mean I get a good morning before the lecture?"

Kurama crawled over and kissed him, which he knew was what Yusuke really wanted him to do. Or at least, it was what Kurama wanted to do; seeing Yusuke lying there--arms crossed behind his head for a pillow, completely unselfconscious of his nakedness--made rational thought a little difficult.

_No, not a little difficult; extremely problematic_, Kurama corrected himself as the kiss deepened. Yusuke pulled him closer and Kurama went along with it, rather keen on keeping the source of last night's pleasure close at hand. Said source didn't seem to be showing any interest in escape, but you never knew. It couldn't possibly hurt to hook one leg over his, just to make sure...

But the problem was, Yusuke now knew what to do with someone who had one leg draped over him, and proceeded to prove that he knew it. Now Kurama did put up a small protest, aware that he was about to lose all hold on rationality whatsoever--Yusuke, predictably, only became more intent on drawing him close, rocking gently against him. There was no doubt where things were heading, and Kurama found himself engaging in a fast and furious mental battle--he _had_, as a matter of fact, been laying out the news laws of the universe. But that could always wait... but it could impact what was happening now... but Yusuke was so intent on picking up where they left off in exhaustion last night...

_Last night._ Last night was something Kurama couldn't even _hope_ to put into rational thought. Something he could barely put into words, much less sentences. Yusuke was--beautiful. Fierce. Trusting. Untouched.

And his face--his expression, so completely lost to the world, eyes unfocussing when he fell over the edge into bliss--there were no words for it. It was something Kurama instantly felt possessive of; something he wanted to protect, something he felt fierce pleasure in having been the only one to ever cause, something he was irrationally resolved not to ever let another person see. It was his.

And so, because it was his, Kurama gave up the idea of thought and let Yusuke do what he wanted. The boy was a quick study--already his body was confident, even if his face wasn't sure yet, and his eagerness to prove all he'd learned meant the sun was high in the sky before they lay quiet again, sweat-soaked and panting. Yusuke was shaking slightly; Kurama was aware of this because Yusuke was pressed close against him, head nestled against his shoulder, and Kurama had wrapped both arms around him protectively. He rested his head against Yusuke's hair and thought, _I am in so much trouble._

He lay there with that thought and Yusuke's trembling and nothing more for a long moment, accepting them both. Watching the sunlight dance through the room and feeling Yusuke slowly relax, feeling him begin to breathe slower again. "So," Yusuke finally said, speaking into Kurama's neck. "Figured out what it means yet?"

Kurama slowly shook his head. "I can't think with you here," he admitted.

A soft exhalation of laughter against his collarbone. "I'm pretty sure that was a compliment, so thanks."

A compliment, but a problem. And one that wasn't going to get worked out here. Kurama sighed, and stretched. "School."

Yusuke made a negative noise and strengthened his hold on Kurama, burrowing closer. "No way."

"You may be able to get away with that, but I can't. My mother pays attention to such things."

"Yeah, well, my mother will be passed out drunk until noon, so we've basically got the place to ourselves," Yusuke replied without missing a beat. "So stay awhile."

"But how will I ever think?" Kurama asked, halfway playful and halfway in earnest.

"You think too much. It'll be good for you."

Kurama only smiled, shook his head, and kissed Yusuke's cheek; Yusuke loosened his hold with a frown. "And I just bet you're not going to spring me from school again either, are you."

"I told you not to get used to it," Kurama reminded him, shrugging back into his clothes.

"You're not going to disappear for another six months this time, are you?"

"You're the one who disappeared for six months," Kurama pointed out.

Yusuke shrugged. "Whatever." He was sitting in the middle of the bed, watching Kurama get dressed without any effort to do the same, clearly displeased with the turn of events.

"Leave your window open," Kurama found himself saying.

Yusuke blinked. "Why?"

"So I can let myself back in tonight," Kurama said, as thought it was the most natural thing in the world.

Yusuke blinked again--he didn't smile, but the stormy expression eased. "See, that's more like it."

Kurama finished buckling his belt and leaned over the bed to kiss Yusuke. "Get dressed," he added as a parting shot before heading for the door.

Yusuke didn't try to stop him. There was no evidence of life elsewhere in the apartment, but Kurama still moved as quietly as he could to the front door, feeling like he was trespassing. He didn't start to walk normally until after he had reached the street.

He had absolutely no intentions of going to school. Contrary to what he had told Yusuke, Kurama's mother had no idea whether her son did or did not attend school--a good thing, too, or Kurama would have had a much harder time managing his double life. But she was a convenient excuse. He knew if he told Yusuke the truth--that he wanted to think--that Yusuke never would have accepted it. And he desperately needed to think.

So he headed for his favorite tree, on the far side of town lest he should be recognized as playing truant, and settled himself in the branches. Climbing trees wasn't natural to him; foxes generally weren't made for it, and preferred to dive under bushes. However, a human teenager crawling under a bush and curling up for a good think was generally remarked upon. The tree made a good compromise between instinct and convention.

Once settled, it still took several long moments before Kurama could think. Yusuke's scent was still on his skin, lingering in his clothes and hair and distracting him. _I am in trouble. Deep trouble._

He hadn't meant to get into trouble. When Yusuke had been forced to stay at Genkai's to train Kurama had quickly concluded it was for the best; it would give them time to get past this. He had fully expected it to go away after a month or to. Yes, he'd indulged in a certain amount of fantasy--idly, wistfully, waiting for it to get out of his system, which it never seemed to. But even when they were firmly separated and it was safe to daydream, Kurama hadn't ever imagined it would happen again.

There was no question of it becoming serious. Kurama had every intention of living up to Shiori's expectations in every way he could, and Shiori's opinion was clear. Yusuke could never be anything than a secret.

Nor could Kurama ever be more than a secret to Yusuke. Yusuke was human, fourteen, and under enough stress as it was--the complications of openly acknowledging a male demon lover were not something Kurama was willing to watch him go through. He'd gotten involved in Yusuke's life out of a desire to help him, not make things worse. No--secrecy would be imperative, if there was going to be anything.

And Kurama wasn't such a fool as to deny, at this point, that there would be something.

He spent hours in the tree, barely moving, coming down only when he knew his mother would start to wonder where he was. He went home and ate dinner with her, lied about his day at school, and did his homework at the kitchen table so he could listen to her play the piano in the next room. He went to be early, then impatiently waited for her to do the same. He kept himself occupied by causing seeds to flower and then collapse back into themselves as seeds, idly manipulating them into little quarrels with each other. He was intensely relieved when Shiori finally fell asleep and he was able to put the seeds away and slip out the window.

Kurama's window was primed for escape, as he'd been encouraging a nearby tree to grow the appropriate branches since he was six or seven years old. Yusuke's window was similarly easy to navigate to, by means of a fire escape. _It's almost like it was set up for us._

Yusuke was in bed with his eyes closed when Kurama quietly opened the window, but his eyes flicked open at the movement. "Oh, so you're finally here."

"I had to wait for my mother to fall asleep," Kurama explained, dropping to the ground."

"I almost fell asleep myself. Wasn't sure you were going to show."

"I said I would," Kurama replied mildly. Since Yusuke hadn't moved, he went ahead and joined him on the bed.

Yusuke wrapped a companionable arm around Kurama's shoulders, causing him to orient his body towards Yusuke slightly. "So was school exciting?"

Kurama debated for a moment before offering a compromised version of the truth. "Not at all. In fact, I spent most of the day thinking about you."

"See, if most people said that I would think you meant X-rated stuff. But knowing you, I'm guessing you've been very logical and rational."

Kurama couldn't help a faint smile. "I hope so."

"Then you've got the new laws of the universe laid out?"

"I do, actually."

"Let's hear them." The whole conversation until then had been tinged with an air of amusement, but tension seeped into the room at that, no matter how straightforward Yusuke tried to be.

Kurama propped himself up on one elbow so he could look at Yusuke, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "Well--if we're going to be logical and rational, several things are clear to me."

"You're making this sound like a math problem," Yusuke complained.

Kurama shrugged. "You asked."

"Yeah, I did. What's clear to you?"

Kurama took a deep breath. "Well, for one thing, that this--whatever it is--is something that we're not going to be able to resist if we're near each other. Also that we need to be close to each other, because of the team. And also that we've already gone over the reasons we can't be together ad naseum. Neither of us is free to be with the other and it would be a disaster if we were to fall in love. And yet, we can't escape each other... so, that leaves room for the space between nothing and a relationship."

Yusuke had been watching him with a relatively steady expression--Kurama could tell there were emotions stirring in his eyes, but couldn't identify them. "You mean like friends with benefits?" he asked now.

Kurama shook his head. "No. Nothing so crass. Just--something in between. I don't have the words for it. Something without demands. You're young, and you're human, and I'm from outside your world. The conventional rules don't apply to us. And it's nobody's business but ours."

Yusuke was nodding. "Yeah, I know it has to be a secret, I get that." He studied Kurama for a minute. "I'm not sure I understand everything you're saying, but I think I do."

"And?"

Yusuke nodded. "Yeah."

That was all he said, but it was enough. No one moved for a minute. It was an important barrier they had just crossed. The acknowledgement that whatever this was, it wasn't going to go away; the cautious willingness to let it grow; the commitment to keep it secret, whatever it became. They were silent for a moment, and then Kurama leaned down and kissed Yusuke, and there wasn't any need for words.


	8. Chapter 8

Well... the time has come.

This is something I absolutely loathe to do, but I have to put this story on hiatus. It was a good story when I had the idea for it, but I waited to long to start writing it and I'm no longer in the right mental space to write it. I hope to get there again someday, but for now I'm not enjoying this story and it's showing in the quality of the writing. I owe it to everybody to stop.

--Blossomwitch


End file.
